Add the pudding mix to a mixing bowl with the milk. Using a hand mixer, mix until it begins to thicken and set aside.
In a separate large mixing bowl add the sweetened condensed milk and cream cheese. Using the hand mixer, mix until they are fully combined.
Add the pudding mix to the cream cheese and condensed milk mixture and mix completely.
Gently fold in the cool whip to the pudding mixture. Be gentle so it keeps some of the air in it.
Line the bottom of a 9x13 casserole dish with vanilla wafers in an even layer.
Top the vanilla wafers with sliced bananas.
Pour the pudding mixture over the top of the bananas and spread evenly.
Top with the remaining vanilla wafers. I like to crush them, but you can also leave them whole. You can serve right away or store it in the fridge until ready to serve!